Bikin'
On reps, chocolate chips, and the perfect toy
Bikin’
My two year old has a bike with no pedals. He flies around on it like a bat out of hell. He’s “ready” for a pedal bike the same way a gorilla is “ready” for a machine gun.
He’s gotten so good at it, it’s the only thing he wants to do. Bikin’. He’s good, so it’s fun, so he does it more, which makes him better, which makes it even more fun. He probably had some natural aptitude, but mostly he has reps.
Each of my kids has their own version of this: some little thing that they just like, and then suddenly they want a thousand reps. Maybe it’s hard at first, but they’re not fighting me for weeks.
As a parent, I’m getting less interested in finding the “right” activities and more interested in giving them enough chances to find the thing that clicks. Then you let them step on the gas.
Who’s got more chocolate chips?
Who got a larger scoop of ice cream?
Whose ice cream had more chocolate chips?
Who got ice cream first?
Who was lucky enough to get it second so it doesn’t melt as fast?
Kids come pre-installed with incredibly sensitive inequality detectors.
There is a part of a kid’s brain that will not allow happiness to exist in the presence of perceived inequality. If you have kids, you might recognize the wave of tension that hits you when you hear, “it’s not fair.”
Adults are similar, though. Think about executives who get upset if they’re not cc’d first on an email, or wealthy people who find something to complain about on every vacation. Capitalism has figured this out. There is always someone in a tier above you (credit card, airline, clothing brand, you name it).
There is always one more chocolate chip in someone else’s scoop.
The perfect toy
Do you want to play with a toy?
No.
Do you want to read a book?
No.
What do you want to do?
Sit on your lap while you try to do work and slam on your keyboard as much as possible. I can also go put a full roll of toilet paper into the toilet and keep flushing, if you’d prefer. Also happy to find some cleaning supplies and ant poison. Whatever’s easiest for you.
As a parent, you are always hunting for the one wholesome toy that will entertain your kids forever. A toy multiple kids can share, that will not rot their brains or hurt anyone, like a power drill or an adult-sized hammer. Once you find that toy, life will be great. You can drink coffee, answer email, maybe even eat something without having to share it with several small, sticky humans.
But, you eventually realize that no toy like this exists! Even if it does, there will be sharing issues, or boredom, or a kid who needs adult attention.
The system always breaks. Always.
My wife and I came up with an elaborate plan to “sleepmax” (read: not be woken up before 6am), by re-arranging where kids sleep and bedtimes, but when you have 4 kids, it only takes one early wake-up for the whole plan to collapse.
I’ve spent cycles trying to find the perfect productivity plan that doesn’t leave me feeling behind, and the AI stack that will automate my life. I’m still hunting for the perfect toy.
The only person in my house who seems to have found one is my two-year-old.
He’s not trying to build a perfect and optimized system.
He’s just bikin’.