I was lucky enough to read a lot of great books this year. (Some thoughts on how to read more here.) Around the holidays, I try to pick my top few books and themes (2021 and 2020). Here’s what I have for 2022.
Top 3 books
How the Other Half Eats: Why do people give their kids junk food? It’s probably not why you think.
Key takeaway: Most parents know what healthy food is and have access to it. However, many parents don’t have time to prepare healthier food, are too tired at the end of the day to have a fight with their kids over dinner, and see “junk food” as an affordable luxury they can give their kids even when money is tight.
The Price We Pay: In-depth but very readable investigation of why healthcare is so expensive in the US.
Key takeaway: Our medical system is a “perfect storm” of things that makes it so expensive: A complete lack of price transparency (can’t price shop), lots of different incentives (doctors prescribe a lot of painkillers so they don’t get bothered to do refills), and very little buying power for consumers.
The Palace Papers: Overview of the royal family from Queen Elizabeth’s birth to current days. Reads like a novel, except it’s true.
Key takeaway: Being a royal is harder than it seems. As the Queen told a junior royal, “you are never tired and you love hospitals.” There’s not a lot of room for self-expression or a separate career and it’s never about you (unless you are the King or Queen).
Honorable mentions
Ideas and themes I’m thinking about
The Lives of Others: Other people can be radically different from us and reading might be one of the best ways to experience this. This year, I read a number of books that told stories from points of view and experiences completely different than my own: serial adulterers (Cheatingland), CEOs struggling with bipolar disorder (Burn Rate), and actual royals (The Palace Papers). While most people generally want the same basic things (e.g., love, recognition, food & shelter), the ways in which we pursue them can be super different. A related point is that you never know what somebody is going through: from the outside, the CEO in Burn Rate might’ve looked like he had a perfect life as the leader and co-founder of a Bonobos, a high-flying apparel company. But in reality, he was dealing with mental illness and a brutal business divorce from his close friend and co-founder. And while it might be easy to judge someone who feeds their kid lots of fast food, they might have an incredibly hard life and see a happy meal as a way to do something for their kids in their very limited time.
Who is telling the story? Trust Me, I’m Lying focused on this: people are too busy to get all the facts themselves, so if you do the work for them and tell them something, they’re likely to believe you. (The book was written from the perspective of a publicist who would feed bloggers stories that were good for his clients; the bloggers were incented to write as much as possible, so were happy to publish any story someone provided to them.) I’ve tried to be more critical when reading about who the author is and what sources they use.
Simple v. Easy. This was the key theme of the health / nutrition books I read (Burn, The Hungry Brain, How the Other Half Eats). Plenty of things in life are simple and well-understood (e.g., most people can describe what a healthy diet is) but not easy (consistently eating these foods in moderate quantity). We also generally understand why things aren’t easy (in the food example—>because unhealthy food tastes tremendous). But executing - whether eating healthy or being patient with people or flossing every night - is still really hard.
Marriage advice applying to all types of relationships. Marriages - even the best ones - are incredibly complex. They’re also long-term relationships and a “repeated game” where, if all goes right, you’ll be together for 40 to 50+ years. My guess is that quality of marriage / partnership (for those that choose it) is one of the most important determinants of happiness as an adult, especially since we spend so much time with our spouse as we age. As a result, there are many books written about how to have a good marriage, which can also be applied to other relationships (especially if you want them to be long-term). Having a good marriage is largely about being responsive to your partner’s requests and bids, accepting them for who they are, and being able to perspective-take. These are also important for other relationships, even if they’re not talked about as much (Recommended reading: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work)
A big thank you to everyone who’s read some of these or emailed me over the last year. One of my goals in 2022 was to write at a more regular and frequent cadence, and all the emails and recommendations I’ve gotten have made this much more fun. Enjoy the holidays and looking forward to writing more in 2023.